How do ‘friends’ and the world of transformation correlate or interact? Perhaps the key is to distinguish “the bond of mutual affection” that binds the friendship first?
When I started my personal development in October 1993 with the Landmark Forum (see videos here). As with all the courses I have undertaken, there is plenty of opportunities for participants to get up on the microphone and SHARE!
Over the years, I have been amazed about the kind of friendships available on this planet noting “the bond of mutual affection” comes in all shapes and sizes.
From a transformational perspective, I can say that a friendship exists by virtue of a declaration.
“You are my friend!” I cheerfully smile.
“Urm but Charles, I hardly know you!” You reply authentically perhaps?
“You are my friend, as you seem/appear to like reading my blogs?!”
This simple scenario can “oh so easily” be broken by a “bad” reply or comment at the bottom of this post for example.
If this occurs, you can see a potential for an ‘all of a sudden’ UPSET, which can be any one or a combination of the following 3:
- Thwarted Intention
- Unfulfilled Expectation
- Undelivered Communication
In that moment, you can see I may even be justified in UNFRIENDING the person. However, if I am big enough to see the other person’s point of view or even allow such a post/comment etc, then one could say I have generated the friendship, with the person, in the face of no agreement.
Hmm, a little too much transformation maybe?
Well actually I learned the GOLD whilst assisting in the Young Persons Forum when the young people were asked who was responsible for them having a great life?
I recall the inquiry between the children was wonderful refreshing, loving and eventually PROFOUND.
They considered that they were 100 % responsible for all their relationships!
Wow, as a 56 year old, I have really engaged in causing this with all my friends, and looking at the sources of my upsets mentioned above, I assert I have mastered great friendships and hey, a mantra I learned in the Team Management and Leadership Program was/is:
“What can I give up to have love be present with this person?” J
How many Friends Really Matter to You?
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A Big Thank You to Cheryle for letting make write these blogs around her cards, which I am consulting happily!!!
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